The worst thing about life is making decisions you don't want to make but know you have to. I'm not talking about the whether to pay car loan or buy a new pair of boots, decisions. The gut wrenching, break-your-heart, this is for the best, type of decisions that in the long run is the right choice, but in the right now you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Right now I'm in that tunnel and there's no end in sight. Everything is just dark and dismal and I'm in this funk that I can't seem to find my way out of. Granted, it's only been 35 hours since I've made my choice, but I'm impatient and i want to feel better now. I want to move on and be happy again. There can't be anything worse than deciding to cut out one of the most important persons in your life. And it can be said that it doesn't need to happen or that it's just self sabotage. But for my sake, in order to be happy and not turn into a person I don't want to be, it is necessary.
This week I'm supposed to be uber busy dancing and competing and I'm hoping beyond hope that it will give me the distraction that I need, to at least get by. I have no idea why I'm posting this here, or now, but if i don't get it off my chest I'm certain I will explode.